How to Wean Yourself off Chips and Crackers.

It’s fast, easy, and delicious. Now you can kick packaged chips to the curb–almost all of them are made with canola or sunflower oil (or worse: cottonseed, corn, soybean) which you don’t want in your body. The ones made with coconut or avocado oil are much better but oh-so-expensive. This is also an opportunity to bake something fun and simple with your child or partner and to experiment together.

Let’s get started by throwing your potatoes out the window.

Great. Let’s see what’s left in your fridge. Yum–parsnips! I know you were saving them for tonight’s chicken soup, but we’re going to steal them anyway.

Here’s the earth-shattering rocket-sciency Nobel-prize winning recipe:

Parsnip Chips

1. Slice your parsnips thinly, like you would a potato.
2. Place the rounds on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
3. Brush them with coconut or olive oil. If you don’t have a kitchen brush, get one, cuz they’re lots of fun.
4. Sprinkle himalayan pink salt and fresh ground pepper. Or some garlic salt. If you’re feeling fancy, add some parsley.
5. Bake for about 10 minutes on 375 or until edges get brown and crispy.

See, not so fatiguing that you need a nap. You may even have enough remaining energy to make some kale chips!

Kale Chips

1. Grab some kale. I know you’re saving it to make the smoothie I recommended. Use it anyway and then buy more.
2. Remove the leaves from the stem. You can use your hands or kitchen scissors, or if you’re feeling barbaric do it with your teeth.
3. Tear into little pieces. Wash well and dry well–you can use a cloth, a salad spinner, or the sun.
4. Place the bits on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
5. Brush with coconut or olive oil.
6. Add salt and something to spice up if you’re feeling spicey–paprika or chili powder?
7. Bake for 10-15 minutes on 350 (preheating oven is wise) till edges are brown but not burnt.
8. Tell your kid these are special green potato chips and this is what the Incredible Hulk eats to be able to pick up cars and throw them over his shoulder.

You are still standing. Obviously these recipes are not too taxing. But memories of childhood picnics have flooded you and you are really wanting some potato chips. Fine. Just make sure they’re orange.

Sweet Potato Chips

1. Pick up some organic Garnet sweet potato. Trust me, these are the sweetest! Start with 2-3.
2. Preheat over to 250.
3. Wash and dry, unless you like eating dirt. Keep the skin on. It’s the healthiest part and  makes the chips hardy.
4. Slice thinly and consistently. Pretend you’re a robot. Thick parts won’t get crisp, and you will be sad or repulsed. When you decide you love making these, invest in a mandolin slicer.
5. Brush both sides with coconut or olive oil.
6. Bake for two hours on a parchment-lined baking sheet on center rack. Careful not to overlap them. Cover with foil. Yes, now you have time for a nap! However, you’ll need to set your alarm after 20 minutes to flip them, and then flip again after 20 minutes. Use tongs unless you like to singe your fingertips.
7. When removed from oven they will not be entirely crisp, so let harden for 10 minutes. You may need to experiment a little with baking time and temperature to get your desired crispiness.
8. Don’t worry if some are a bit mushy. A few french fries in the mix keeps it exciting.
9. Consider a dip if you want to go wild with flavor.

Good work. Go grab a beer or glass of wine, maybe book a massage. 😜

These are an excellent after-school snack and baking activity for your child and his playmate. It’s also a great idea when you have the munchies and don’t want to blow your diet. Or a quick pick-me-up during a work at home day. Also a fun  alternative to popcorn for movie night with your girlfriend, spouse, kids, or pet.